Awhile back, I heard a joke that went like this:
A woman is sitting at a bar enjoying a drink with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome man enters.
He is so striking that the woman can not take her eyes off him. The man notices her overly attentive stares and walks directly toward her.
Before she can offer her apologies for rudely staring he leans over and whispers, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do for $20. But only on one condition.”
Flabbergasted, the woman asks what the condition is.
“You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”
The woman considers his proposition for a moment and then removes a $20 bill from her purse, which she presses into the man’s hand along with her address.
She then looks deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully says, “Clean my house!“
Now. I don’t know about you, but I can totally relate to this lady!! Part of my anxiety comes from the fact that I am physically and emotionally unable to keep my house clean by myself. I’ve lived in my apartment for two years, and never really deep cleaned it. My roommate is much neater and cleaner than I am, but he doesn’t do much housework as far as sweeping and vacuuming floors, etc. I believe that he thinks it’s “women’s work” but that’s just a guess. He’s a nice guy, 42 years old and a friend of mine. But it’s difficult to communicate things like this because English is a second language and sometimes we have a difficult time communicating very meaningfully.
However, we agreed to split the cost of having a cleaning service come and deep clean the apartment. This meant the living room, dining room, kitchen and hallway. I paid extra to have them clean my bedroom and bathroom. My roomie did not want that, so that was fine.
They came three weeks ago (I think I mentioned this before in a previous post) they came and spent four hours making this place sparkle! It felt SOOO good! They were able to get into places that I physically can’t. They scrubbed the oven and stove top inside and out (it was gross!!). They cleaned the countertops, swept and mopped the floor, the area rugs, wiped down the cabinet faces, wiped down the outside of the refrigerator, cleaned the baseboards everywhere, wiped down the washer and dryer, and scrubbed my bathroom from top to bottom and it looks like new.
I was so happy!! It looked amazing and I noticed that my anxiety had eased. I didn’t realize how much my guilt over not having a clean house caused so much anxiety that I couldn’t make myself clean up even the dishes! I have pretty much kept up with everything, but the last week I’ve been slipping, and I feel my anxiety rising again. I still have anxiety over other things, even things that don’t exist (it’s the “waiting for the other shoe to drop because no way I can be this happy and if I am, then something bad will happen” anxiety. The generalized anxiety disorder. When things in my life are going well, I get nervous and anxious and unable to enjoy it much. Anyone else have this? It’s very annoying.
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Since that cleaning gave me so much relief, I am going to see about having the service come out once a month a nd clean. That way it can be maintained. By “maintained” I mean both the cleanliness of my house and the reduction of my anxiety. Goodness knows if I can keep even one part of my anxiety at bay, it’s a win. Unless I stress about paying for it…. There’s always something to worry about. It’s a wonder my adrenal glands aren’t fatigued, since I live in “fight or flight” mode most of the time.
Thank you for reading, and comment if you would like!